Your leaving caused so much pain but as time goes by I’m slowly learning that thinking of you is just a waste of time. I no longer hoping that you will come back and realize how much value you’ve lost after breaking up with me.
I am sorry, but I can’t miss you. I am now okay to be alone in my room without your presence. I am happy lying on my bed without the warmth of your body because I no longer miss your kiss when I feel lonely.
Every time I touch my neck, I no longer missing the warmth of your lips on it. I am at home now to be on my own. I realized that your touch before speaks urgency not ‘love’. I used to be comfortable in the shadow of the darkness after turning off the light without your arms hugging my body. I feel much love compare when I am at your side. I am experiencing a true love that enough for me to be emotionally secured compare when you are at my side.
When I wake up, I no longer feel sad. Every time I see myself in a mirror, I am seeing a person that I have lost when I chose to love you. A person that was lost for a long time and never be found because it totally be drowned by the love that I once thought pure and true. The person that I am seeing now is far from what I used to be, and I am deeply grateful to you. After you left me, I am able to see clearly and become a version of myself that I never knew I could be.
Gone are the days when I am crying in my room praying that you will come back. Gone are the days when I am waking up at the middle of the night feeling the severe loneliness because you are not on my side. Gone are the days when I wake up in the morning that I don’t want to get up and show up because I feel like the world betrays me.
There are no days anymore that I was staring blankly on our bed thinking that you are there smiling at me. No more days that my knees are shaking while bathing at the bathroom and the water in the shower keeps rushing in like the continuous flowing of my tears on my face because of the heaviness that I have felt whenever I miss you. No more days when I cannot eat alone because I wanted you to prepare my own meal like what you always did when we were together.
I stop myself to miss you because that is the right thing to do. When I did this, things slowly unfold. I have seen the stupidity that I became because I choose to love you. I realized how you’ve turned me into a person that I am. I fell to you and you choose to fall out of love.
The power of your kiss has no longer has an effect on me unlike before that I got lost in wilderness every time we are kissing. I am totally free from you. What I remember the most now is how lies comes out to your lips. How your lips capable of passionately touching my body but at the back of your mind you are thinking of someone else I am imagining how your lips speak adoration when we made love but those words you have said are not meant for me.
I am no longer missing you and I am truly glad you are gone. I am contented now to be on my own. I am much comfortable sleeping alone. I have more time to be on my own. Your absence didn’t matter anymore. I have found out that I can become happier without you on my side. I learned to free myself from the sensation feelings we have shared together. You doesn’t matter anymore because what I thinking is myself.
I no longer miss you. I am thinking of you not because I love you but because of the lesson that you give to me.
Kiss me again and again but the same love we have shared before has no longer there. I no longer miss your lips because I moved on.
With its experimental structure; eclectic intertextual incorporation of other media; and predominance of popular forms over aspects of higher culture, Manuel Puig’s Kiss of the Spider Woman certainly lends itself to a postmodernist interpretation. Kiss . . .
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