Dating is the time for first impressions that last, so you need to get the important things right. Kissing is one of them. If you’re a woman who really likes someone, you want to make sure that when he kisses you, he will want to do it again and again. What you’re about to read is a take on this subject from a man’s perspective. As someone who has kissed a number of women not long after the first date, these are my reflections and thoughts on what made some kisses very ordinary, while others, spectacular.
And I have to say … statistically speaking, the enjoyable kisses were about 5 percent of them all. The rest were very ordinary, even unpleasant. Maybe the women in their 40s that I’ve kissed are not representative of the entire female population, but in my opinion, there are certainly a lot of women out there who have no idea what to do. So here are some important things to remember:
Before You Even Think About Kissing a Man
Make sure your lips are soft and warm. There’s nothing more unpleasant than a passionate moment that ends abruptly because you’ve rubbed your lips on someone else’s scales. Use a lip balm to keep your lips soft and exfoliate them with a toothbrush and warm water.
Make sure you smell good. This means choosing your perfumes and body powders carefully. There’s nothing worse than kissing someone who smells like grandma. If you want to be sensual, think ‘young and fresh’ when selecting these things. Also, look after yourself and bathe regularly, because body odour or stale perspiration is a real turn-off. As for your breath … need I say more?
The song lyrics that say “it’s in his kiss” apply just as much to women as to men. A man will read how much he means to you by the way you kiss him. If he’s looking at you for a long term prospect, he will also get a clear impression of what he’s in for in the way of sensual delights or otherwise. You want to make sure it counts because ‘how it feels when you kiss’ is high on a man’s priority list that determines how he feels about you.
Whatever you do, don’t purse your lips when kissing. He will think you might be an ice-queen or be reminded of grandma’s kisses. If you get to the point where you want to kiss a man then let him know that you’re a warm blooded woman. Make it count or don’t bother. You need to open your mouth or he might shut his heart. This doesn’t mean get straight into swapping saliva and slipping tongues – that might be a bit overwhelming and send a different message. But soft extended lips and an open mouth is where you need to start.
Gently touch your lips to his. Taste and savour the shape and texture of his mouth. Roll your lips over his and gently suck one of them or let him do this to you. If he’s kissing your teeth or pressing your lips against your teeth, you have a serious problem. Put your lips out there! Also, keep your eyes closed or your man will think you’re just putting up with it.
After that, all you need is to do what feels right. Take it as it comes, but let the man lead. That might be as far as you both want to go. On the other hand, your mutual body language may be telling you it’s time to kick it up a notch. The signs for this are usually heavier breathing, wrapping arms more intensely around each other, more kissing around the face or neck and a sense of urgency and desire. This will send you into the sexiest kiss of them all – the French kiss.
The French Kiss beats all the others for sheer sexiness and is a sure way to fan the flames of desire. This is where you introduce your tongues. He will let you know when he wants that, but you must also feel ready for it to go there. Stick your tongue into his mouth and gently touch the tip of your tongue to his. Stroke his tongue with yours, brushing sideways, while letting him know you want this by having your hands or arms around the back of his neck. What you do after that will depend entirely on how you feel about each other.
The perfect kiss comes in many forms, from nervous pecks on the cheek to supercharged sloppy wet kisses. It all depends on you and your partner and the dynamics of the moment. For some, a kiss might be a way of saying “I love you”; to others, it might simply be saying “let’s enjoy ourselves and see how it feels”.
A kiss is not everything, but when it really counts, you don’t want to blow it.
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